Movie news for the Fourth of July!


Patriotic movie news for the Fourth of July. It’s like Canada Day, except not lame.

Captain America: The First Avenger

You didn’t think I’d do Independence Day without a little Captain America: The First Avenger, did you? There are a bunch of photos out from some official movie magazine. Some cool photos, including one of The Howling Commandos! Who I had hoped weren’t in the film.

Dark Shadows

Tim Burton’s film version of Dark Shadows has mostly built its set for Collinwood Manor, which is where Johnny Depp’s vampire character lives, I think. Spooky?

Snow White and the Huntsman

Snow White and the Huntsman, which is one of at least two Snow White films coming out soon, is apparently being planned as a trilogy. As an action adventure take on the classic fairy tale, no doubt there’ll be plenty of crazy explosions while some broad sleeps. Just like a broad, always sleeping.


I have a few notes to make about Canada. First, they’re moving to plastic money. Seriously. They’re going to have plastic $100s by November, $50s by March, and the rest by 2013. What the crap? Money is supposed to be made of precious metals or paper, darn it. How am I going to make counterfeit money to pay Canadian prostitutes with now? Just like Canada. Never thinking of the little guy. On a side note, Booger is a pretty cool guy who thinks of the little guy, so he isn’t a TRUE Canadian. Thank the Lord for that. Am I right? I’m right. Also, look at these pictures about Canada. Guess what, Canada? I got you again.

Canadian Joke:

Canadian women are so hairy that they have beardless women at their circuses.

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Brian brings to the site 4 years of online journalism, and attitude. Brian has probably offended you in his movie previews, and for that he won't apologize. Ladies, Brian is in a committed relationship with a woman who, thankfully, doesn't read Starseeker. It is this reluctance to read his work that keeps their relationship going. God bless America.