Patriotic movie news for the Fourth of July. It’s like Canada Day, except not lame.
Captain America: The First Avenger
You didn’t think I’d do Independence Day without a little Captain America: The First Avenger, did you? There are a bunch of photos out from some official movie magazine. Some cool photos, including one of The Howling Commandos! Who I had hoped weren’t in the film.
Tim Burton’s film version of Dark Shadows has mostly built its set for Collinwood Manor, which is where Johnny Depp’s vampire character lives, I think. Spooky?
Snow White and the Huntsman
Snow White and the Huntsman, which is one of at least two Snow White films coming out soon, is apparently being planned as a trilogy. As an action adventure take on the classic fairy tale, no doubt there’ll be plenty of crazy explosions while some broad sleeps. Just like a broad, always sleeping.
I have a few notes to make about Canada. First, they’re moving to plastic money. Seriously. They’re going to have plastic $100s by November, $50s by March, and the rest by 2013. What the crap? Money is supposed to be made of precious metals or paper, darn it. How am I going to make counterfeit money to pay Canadian prostitutes with now? Just like Canada. Never thinking of the little guy. On a side note, Booger is a pretty cool guy who thinks of the little guy, so he isn’t a TRUE Canadian. Thank the Lord for that. Am I right? I’m right. Also, look at these pictures about Canada. Guess what, Canada? I got you again.
Canadian women are so hairy that they have beardless women at their circuses.